Cringe

Been getting a bit of Comment Spam over the last couple of years. It's annoying, mostly because a) it happens, and b) I have to go in and delete it. Most of the time, the comments are in posts not all that old. But this morning, I'd been hit with a spam comment in an Entry I'd posted back in 2006. It was about Supernatural "Wincest" fic, or rather, my idiotic pointless anger about it.

As I'm reading my post, I'm growing confused. I'm thinking, "I wrote this? Really? This sounds like someone else, and how the hell did they publish an entry on my LJ?"

Ahem. It's me alright. Or rather, it's my un-medicated depressed self.

When I moved over to the East Coast to stay with a former friend in Delaware, I was able to get Medicaid and get medicated. I've been on Celexa for the last three years. And OMFG, what a change it has made. I've probably posted about that before, but WOW, it's tempered me a damn lot. I've had a few more changes in my brain since then, and one that's very depressing but probably too TMI for folks so I won't say it. *snerk*

Anyhoodles, my point here is that, well, I'm really, extremely, omfg-istas embarrassed. It's no freakin' wonder people have unfriended me or walked away in silence. I mean, just, well, shit.

So, I can't take things back, won't delete the stuff (er, crap) I wrote, but I will say this: To those I've alienated b/c of this screwy chemical bizarreness in my head, I'm very sorry.

I've always been a strange mix of humble/outspokenness, and that's probably never gonna change. But I'm at least a lot calmer about it. ;)